THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUCUS!

All across social media indignant conspiracy theorists along with Donald Trump, Mike Pompeo and Co. are spluttering out their nutball notions on the origin of the novel corona virus and Covid-19.

It’s a plot by Bill Gates to reduce the world’s population by billions and win more $billions from his Big Pharma investments.

It’s those fiendish Chinese out to decimate the western world in a new, updated version of the Yellow Peril with a genetically-engineered plague fiendishly set upon its own people to avert suspicion.

It’s 5G celltowers beaming out malignant electromagnetic rays somehow transforming both braincells and bacteria into your favorite horror sci-fi epic reality of all time. Certainly the braincells of those spreading this theory have CLEARLY been affected. (/sarcasm)

It’s a devilish U.S. op designed to terminally weaken its economic adversary China through a military group who visited Wuhan to participate in the Military World Games.

It’s ‘Deep State’ who have instigated a scheme to keep everyone locked up in their homes and unable to threaten it by people invading the streets to protest (if so, that one’s working well currently, no? (/sarcasm) Look out for an imminent governmental coup (but not by the chief suspect, Donald Trump).

It’s a devilish means of rounding up Satanists who have occupied the top levels of the western elite establishment along with pedophiles and cunningly disguised lizards.

It’s the culmination of God’s plan for the end of the world as we know it predicted centuries ago by men with big beards dwelling in caves. If people do bad things and don’t give their hard-earned cash to mega-churches they will face the full wrath of the virus.

Or...

It is part of a known group of viruses which sometimes originate through a crossover from viruses in animals and this occurs most often where humans and animals coexist closely in the highest numbers. There are estimated to be some seven million of such viruses within the animal kingdom.

Suggested Covid Concoctions:

Inject disinfectant into the body. This one is a classic piece of idiocy by the world’s foremost purveyor of idiocy, Donald Trump.

Take hydroxychloroquine which can have major side-effects and which has been proven not to assist in avoiding or treating the novel coronavirus or Covid-19.

Home remedies including garlic and lemon.

Holding your breath for 10 seconds without any problems. A sign that you don’t have the coronavirus in your body.

Drink water every 15 minutes to prevent you from getting Covid-19 by flushing out the virus.

A study shows that one in six adults believe these last three practices.

This will run and run... just like mucus running copiously from a badly infected nose.

So meanwhile, spluttering conspiracy theorists are undoubtedly hard at work using the last few braincells they have left concocting even more theories about the virus.

What about a Russian plot? Russia is flavor of every month right now.

What about aliens from the planet Zog out to destroy Mankind? Perhaps there’s an alien abduction story featuring this?

Perhaps it’s revenge of the Vril? Apparently part of Nazi ideology was (is?) that a race of superbeings live near the center of the planet. They have been cooped down there so long now that their tempers are likely to be rather heated.

Where might all the theories above end? In an amalgam of hysteria where they all fight it out on some green hill (Golgotha?) all totally unmasked and unmasked for what they are...

Unrepentant egoists and self-publicists who are plagued by their own inadequacy.

And they keep drinking huge amounts of Kool-Aid as their cure of choice...

The Hills Are Alive With The Sound of Mucus!