THE UKRAINE THEATRE OF WAR AS CURRENTLY PLAYED ON BROADWAY IS A MIX OF FARCE & BLACK COMEDY

The audience watching the playacting of its media regarding what’s going on in Ukraine is perplexed. They hear that Ukraine is winning hands down, that Russia is dismayed with dissension in the ranks, collapsing morale in its army and a commander in chief racking his brain for some way out of a mess that’s only getting worse.

This is what they’ve been promised and if this audience don’t get what was promised there’ll be trouble.

This audience has been hearing about this play and its central devil of a character for decades now and they expect the same happy ending they are used to. They expect to see it acted out up there on that stage. This is how it’s meant to be down here on God’s little planet. Isn’t it? He’s up there watching and will surely make those evil Russkies turn round with their tails curled between their legs and beat a retreat into the backwoods.

What other outcome could there possibly be?

Surely this is the script being followed here. The usual happy ending. No?

“Well no.”

What??!!

“Sorry, this is the author of the play here. I need to tell you a few little lies so you suspend any disbelief you might have. Besides, we would be seen as traitors if we told you the bare facts. You surely don’t want a play like those Scandinavians put on depicting depressing gloomy reality? Do You?”

This is met by something between a quizzical confusion, a scowl and a sigh of relief across the audience.

“You want fantasy, don’t you?”

“That’s what keeps you happily entertained, isn’t it?”

“You wouldn’t come to a play that makes you miserable, would you? Not if you’re a middle-American theatre-goer without pretensions to being an intellectual, I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Just be happy with what we’re telling you… because believe me the raw facts are not gonna make you happy.”

There’s a rustling of discontent as the play continues with saintly Ukrainians winning in every scene. Somehow certain disquieting noises off stage are spoiling the show. There’s whispering going on here and there that’s not part of the script as certain elements demonstrate their intent on disturbing the audience’s enjoyment.

Why, the audience begins to ask itself, are we not hearing of Ukraine taking back specific towns… or cities? All we’re hearing is opinion, and hearsay. And where are the backdrops showing the images of massive Russian casualties we were promised?

We paid good tax dollars for all the guns and missiles that were sent, billions of dollars worth. We want to see what was promised. Where’s the collapse of the rouble scene and the demise of the entire Russian economy we were told to expect that would make us clap out hands in joy to see?

And how come WE the ones suffering instead of them???!

What kind of fake publicity have you guys been spreading to get us to pay our hard earned dollars for this here shambolic production?

And who are these people in the wings, in the balconies and at the back of the hall calling out about the Russians winning for f**k sake???

You keep frog-marching them out… but they keep getting back in!

What’s going on?

“Yeah… they’re evil Russian agents, Putin puppets, troublemakers and traitors that get off on spreading disinformation. Ignore ‘em. We’re in the process of creating laws to silence these lowlifes. We’ll soon put a stop to them getting in here.”

“Please, don’t worry about any of that, okay?”

“Just keep watching the clever videos beamed up there on stage that our genius writers have created for you. Keep listening to the celebrity narrators up on stage between them. They’re giving their honest opinions about what’s happening in Ukraine and you KNOW you can trust them because they are so well groomed and their faces are familiar. Look how sincere they are… and SO well dressed and manicured. They are giving superb performances, don’y tou think so?”

THESE are the things that are important, can’t you see that?

“We are the big star names. Those other nobodies are talking rubbish. They’re nothing but cranks who can’t even get on TV.

Ignore their reality and their facts. You’ll enjoy the fantasy much better.

Get with the ambience right here in the theatre of war we’ve created specially for you.

Don’t you like our wraparound performance? Sure you do.

Get with the programme and all will be well.”

“Hey, as the song goes, don’t worry… be happy. Everything is completely under control. The management of this theatre absolutely guarantees your total satisfaction.”

Well….. if you say so I guess. But bring on that happy ending soon, won’t you?

THE UKRAINE THEATRE OF WAR AS CURRENTLY PLAYED ON BROADWAY IS A MIX OF FARCE & BLACK COMEDY